According to this website there are 34 symptoms of peri-menopause, some like hot flushes most of us know about and some which to me have come as a huge surprise. So that you can all compare your Change to mine I thought I’d go through my experience of these symptoms but, more importantly, talk about the ones which I haven’t as yet had. When you read about peri-menopause online you only really get the horror stories but it’s not inevitable that you’ll turn into Norman Bates’ evil twin – no, it’s much more likely you’ll just become a grumpy old git with a disappearing waistline 😉
Common Menopause Symptoms
Remarkably I haven’t had these as yet, for which I am truly thankful. However, they are actually more common in the first two years after Menopause, ie when periods have stopped, so there’s time yet! Having said all that, as I’ve recently documented I’ve definitely been having vasomotor symptoms which feel a bit like I’m having a stroke and are massively scary – I just don’t flush. So maybe I’m having my own, unique, version of the flushes just without the heat.
I’ve had night sweats for about the past 7 years, but only in my period week. Strangely enough, now I’m approaching Menopause they aren’t as bad as they used to be, so this symptom is again not one I’ve had huge problems with.
When I’ve been reading about peri-menopause online I’ve often seen the question “how do I know I’m in peri-menopause?” and think to myself “really?!” If you’re in your forties and your menstrual cycle starts to change in any way, the likelihood is that your hormones are off to pastures new. Of course there are other reasons for period changes, but when it’s peri-menopause related you kind’ve just know. My cycles are currently all over the place, with last month’s being 40 days and this month’s being 22 days.
Loss of Libido
Hell-to-the-no 😉 In fact, there are times in the month I am so horny I could shag the dog. Being single, of course, my rampant sex drive is wasted which seems a bit of a shame, however in reality my endometriosis is so painful sex would probably be out of the question.
I’ve definitely had this, but only at certain times of the month – it’s not currently permanent. It doesn’t feel like I expected either and for me I only know it’s happening because my undies rub and irritate me and this can cause my lady garden to become sore. A smearing of K-Y Jelly, which stings like a son-of-a-bitch when first applied, has been helpful.
Over the 7 years of my peri-menopause I’ve had five massive rages however they were all due to my alcoholic Mother so would probably have happened irrespective of my hormones. There are times of the month I can feel a bit weepy or tetchy for a few days, but then I’ve always been like that so it’s not something unique to peri-menopause. I feel hugely thankful that my mood has so far been fairly stable, though of course this may change as the actual Menopause gets closer.
As I already have severe chronic fatigue I haven’t noticed this as a symptom anywhere near as much as if I’d been healthy. However, a couple of years ago my fatigue became absolutely poleaxing but this turned out to be because of low ferritin stores and has improved dramatically following iron supplementation. So if fatigue becomes troublesome look for alternative explanations – low iron is common in peri-menopause as bleeding can become heavier.
I’ve never had thick hair but started losing my hair in earnest in my mid forties. MCAD can also cause hair loss so I’ve no idea if I would have lost quite so much hair if I didn’t have that, but it’s not something I’m going to get hung up on. Hair extensions and wigs are brilliant these days so I just bought myself some fake hair and got on with it.
Again, because I already had insomnia due to my ME and MCAD it’s hard to know how much my sleep has been affected by peri-menopause. I actually went through a couple of years of sleeping brilliantly, probably the best for 20 years, but now I seem to have insomnia again in particular waking at 4 or 5am and not being able to drop back off. I just accept it as one of those things and am so used to being sleep deprived it doesn’t hugely affect my day.
Yet again, I’m already completely brain fogged due to my existing illnesses and don’t think this has gotten massively worse. When you’re not sleeping well it affects daytime concentration too, so my focusing problems are probably as a result of many factors not just peri-menopause.
Er, what was the question again? 😉 My memory has definitely gone to shit. It was never good to start with, 25 years of M.E. brain fog has seen to that, but there are now days when it’s so bad I feel like a Dementia patient.
This has been one of the worst symptoms for me. I can spend whole weeks feeling dizzy and disorientated every waking second of the day. In fact, the second I opened my eyes this morning and the room swerved I knew today would be a dizzy day. It’s just something I put up with and pray eases soon.
I have gained half a stone (7lbs) in the last year, which doesn’t sound a lot but has meant I’ve had to go up a dress size. The reason for this is that I have the raging munchies and go through cycles where even Bert’s dog biscuits look tempting. I have zero self-control, even though I know that once the weight is on it will be really hard to shift, and these are the times I’m glad I live 7 miles from the nearest shop otherwise I would have gained 10 stone 😉
Thankfully I can still hold my wee, though the fact I’ve never given birth has probably helped. I pee for England, including having to get up at least once in the night, but don’t leak.
The word “bloated” doesn’t do this symptom justice. My breasts are, at times, so swollen I could float on water and I looks 5 months pregnant. I pee, and pee, and pee and still look and feel like the Michelin Man.
My life changed forever when my hormones started to decline and my mast cell activation took up residence. Enough said.
My nails, like my hair, have always been rubbish and I can’t see that peri-menopause has made a huge difference. In any event, who the fuck worries about their nails?! Get a life. Having said that, a couple of years ago I noticed my toe nails has started to split right down the middle and the ends had all flattened out. This is a symptom of anaemia and sure enough my iron stores were really low, so if you notice these kids of signs my advice would be to get some blood work done.
Changes in Odor
I live on my own, so I’ve no-one to tell me if I’ve suddenly started to smell like rotting fish. I am aware, though, that body odor can change during middle age so am more liberal with deodorants and perfume than I used to be, but I think this applies to both sexes not just women – my Dad certainly has an “old man” pong no matter how often he showers.
This is one symptom I can definitely relate to and is really common. I’ve had palpitations as part of my M.E. for donkeys years but they got so bad in my mid forties I had a 24 hour holter monitor done. I was convinced I had some kind of heart problem, but although the ectopic/skippy/thumpy beats showed up on the test they were deemed to be normal and just part of the peri-menopause. They’ve thankfully now settled down a bit and aren’t as frequent or severe as they were.
I’m so thankful that I haven’t suffered with this symptom and mood-wise am just my usual grumpy arsed self 😉
Anxiety &/or Panic
I’m not an anxious person in general, but have definitely noticed I can become suddenly anxious for absolutely no good reason. Anxiety can be a symptom of mast cell activation too though, so I’m never sure whether it’s my hormones or my mast cells that are playing up. It hasn’t been too troublesome though and I just accept it as part of the process, tell myself that “this too shall pass” and try not to panic over the fact I feel panicky, which is often easier said than done.
All I will say about this symptom is that Victor Meldrew and I must be related only in my house there’s a lot more swearing 😀
It’s been the pain symptoms of peri-menopause which have come as a shock to me as I simply wasn’t expecting some of them.
Holy Mary Mother of God my boobs are sore. Chronically, stupidly sore, all of the time. I hardly ever wear a bra these days as they’re so uncomfortable and have been known to rub Ibuleve gel into my breasts to try and gain some relief. It’s like PMT breast tenderness on steroids.
My battle with migraine is well documented and is mostly hormone related. My migraines haven’t become particularly more frequent as a result of peri-menopause, but they’ve definitely become more painful, last longer and now often include vomiting. Along with my endometriosis and adenomyosis this is one symptom I’m praying to God will lessen when I’ve finally gone through The Change.
My joints went to hell on a handcart when I first started with peri-menopause at the age of 43. Obviously I also have hEDS, so I’ve no idea if my joints would have been so badly affected if I were healthy, but I’m definitely doing the old lady thing of “oompfing” as I get out of the chair and can no longer bend to put on my socks or shoes. I feel like I’ve aged 20 years in the last 5.
This is another tricky symptom, because I have GERD and if acid backs up into the oesophagus and/or mouth it can cause a burning sensation so I’ve no clue if my burning mouth is due to my reflux or my hormones.
This symptom was completely unexpected, particularly as it only affects my breasts. The stabbing, electric shocks became so bad that my GP sent me for an early mammogram last year as it’s not something widely considered to be linked to the menopause, but all was fine and the pain is less frequent now than it was a couple of years ago.
I have digestive issues by the truck load already and haven’t noticed they are any worse than they were five years ago.
Many people in middle age start to suffer from receding gums, so I personally wouldn’t say this is down to peri-menopause, just age. Yes I lost my first adult tooth at 48, but then my best mate’s hubby did too and he isn’t peri-menopausal although my mate says he’s definitely having a mid life crisis 😉
If you have depression, panic or anxiety as a symptom of peri-menopause it stands to reason you will notice muscle tension so I’m not convinced this is a symptom in its own right. I also think that even some healthy women have mast cell issues during peri-menopause, with things like new allergies, hives, eczema and itching, and again muscle tension is a symptom of mast cell activation. I have definitely noticed more muscle spasms in the past five years, but then my MCAD has gone nuclear so it was fairly much inevitable and not down to peri-menopause per se, though my hormones are probably the reason my MCAD went nuts.
My itchy skin drives me bonkers some days, but it’s part of having MCAD so again it’s not a symptom I associate with peri-menopause. Having said all that, the one symptom not mentioned in the list of 34 is dry skin, which amazes me because it’s something nearly all menopausal women notice and dry skin can also be itchy. I’ve always had beautiful, flawless skin, it’s the only good thing about having hEDS, but I feel like my skin has aged ten years in the past two and is horribly dry and lifeless. My whole life I’ve never had the need to bother much with moisturizer, but now I put it on twice a day otherwise my skin feels as tight as a duck’s arse. My skin has also sagged and wrinkled at an alarming rate and I suddenly look, and feel, every one of my 50 years. Yay.
Having had pins & needles in my hands and feet for the better part of a quarter of a century I’m probably not the best person to ask about tingling extremities.
My maternal Gran, my Mum, her Sister and a maternal Cousin all had osteoporosis by the time they were 52 so this is something I’m probably going to develop. On the NHS bone density isn’t usually checked until a woman is over 50 even with a family history, however as hEDS is also a risk factor I’ve already had two bone density scans in my forties which were thankfully both fine. It will be interesting to see, however, what my next one shows in two years time as by then I should be post-menopausal.
There are some symptoms which, IMHO, have been left out of the list of 34. One is dry skin which I’ve already mentioned and the other is changes to flow. My periods don’t last any longer than they always have, but they are definitely heavier and often really clotty. Other times the blood can be bright red, like I’ve cut myself, and I’m also more prone to sluggish brown smears/spotting both before and after my actual period. Even if your cycles are still regular, if you’re in your forties and start noticing changes in the consistency of your flow chances are you’re starting in peri-menopause.
Your body also changes shape. Even if your weight stays the same your waist may suddenly disappear. I’ve always had a curvy, hourglass figure with a well defined middle but seemingly overnight my waist did a bunk and I now I’m starting to look matronly and chunky.
Something else which hasn’t been mentioned is apathy. I don’t feel in any way depressed and I’m not lacking in motivation but some days my get-up-and-go simply gets-up-and-leaves. Maybe this is a fatigue thing but I just can’t be arsed to do stuff, in particular housework or cooking………in fact, any of the “shoulds”. I know I should be doing the laundry and instead I’m either sat on my lardy arse stuffing my face with Wine Gums and watching Teen Mom, or I’m in my ‘studio’ taking photographs, which is fine until I go to get dressed and realize I’ve no clean pants. Or socks. Or much of anything else, which turns into an excuse to stay in my jim jams and watch more telly. Maybe getting old isn’t so bad after all 😉
So far my journey through peri-menopause hasn’t been the hellish experience my Mum warned me about and I seem to be doing OK. I personally think it’s all about expectation. By the time I was in my mid forties I expected to be starting peri-menopause so that when it happened it didn’t come as any kind of shock. I’m gobsmacked at the amount of women I read about online who are 48 and seem surprised their periods have suddenly gone awry – surely to goodness all women expect to start The Change by their late forties, and it actually begins much earlier for many of us.
Already suffering from chronic illness also prepares you for changes to your hormones. Healthy people who suddenly find themselves exhausted, itchy, stiff and in pain, and who develop palpitations, dizziness and insomnia, must think their world is coming to an end, but when you’ve already had these symptoms for years it’s just business as usual for the most part. Trust me when I say I’ve been way more sick than I am now.
There are definitely parts of my transition which are crap, like my migraines and dizziness, and they have absolutely affected my life but not to the point where I feel like I can’t cope. I’ve been hugely lucky so far in that my mood has remained fairly stable which is one of the things which worried me the most, and so far the dreaded hot flushes haven’t put in an appearance. Of course, no-one could predict that my waning hormones would set off my dormant mast cell disease causing all hell to break loose and I was clueless as to the fact that it would impact my hEDS quite as much as it has, but my M.E. has so far been largely unaffected though I know that’s not the case for some.
I was anticipating becoming a depressed, irritable, exhausted, fat mess by the time I was 50 and although there’s still time for this to happen so far I’m just grateful I still feel my usual kind, happy but grumpy self albeit a bit thicker and saggier around the edges. It could be worse.