Soooo, I started my period today. It’s day 25 of my cycle. For the first three months of this year I was back to a 28 day cycle, but the last two months I’ve been down to a 25 day cycle, just to keep me on my toes.
Yesterday I felt OK(ish). I was extra tired, had cramps and (TMI warning!) my bits were sore because the environment ‘down there’ isn’t as moist as it used to be and my undies chaff, but I still felt well enough for a potter round a nearby plant nursery with my friend. Went to bed last night and all was fine.
Woke this morning at 5am, which is ridiculous. So I put my talking book on (Michael J. Fox’s memoir ‘Lucky Man’ which discusses his early onset Parkinsons Disease) and must have dozed back off because the next thing I knew it was 7.30am. Now that’s more like it.
Got up to feed Bertie, made myself a brew, and went back to bed for Bert’s morning tummy rub and to ‘come to’. But by the time I reached the top of the stairs I knew something was amiss. I started to sweat. Everywhere. It ran in rivers off my head and down my back. And then I felt all the colour draining from my face and the world started to swim. Hmmm, I think I’d better lie down before I fall down. I collapsed onto the bed like a rag doll. Bert nudged me for a bit then decided he obviously wasn’t getting his tummy rubbed and promptly went to sleep. Typical bloke 😉
I felt horrendous and like I was going to pass out, even though I was lying down. I have a ceiling fan above my bed, so I turned that on. It felt lovely and cool on my skin, but poor Bert started to shiver, so I covered him with my half of the duvet. I also had god awful period pain and my hip bones felt like they were on fire.
I keep a blood pressure monitor under my bed, so I fished it out and took a reading. 79/45!!!!! And my pulse was 43. WTF?!
I then realized I needed the loo. Urgently. As I sat on the throne, sweating like a roasting hog, I didn’t know whether I was going to poop, puke or pass out. This is when living alone can be quite scary. For the next hour I staggered between my bed and the loo, with horrendous diarrhea and chilling sweats. Even my lips were white and I couldn’t sit upright without wanting to pass out.
Then my period actually arrived and over the next two hours things mercifully started to calm down. I put my TENS machine on both my back and stomach, so the cramping pain lifted slightly (though as I’m typing this I still feel like someone is inside my uterus with a blow torch). I managed to have a drink. And my BP came up to a more respectful 104/54 (which admittedly is my usual BP for when I’m sleeping, not awake and upright).
It’s now evening and I’ve finally managed to eat something. I still feel rubbish, but it’s a ‘normal’ period-induced rubbish, not the I-think-I’m-about-to-die rubbish I felt this morning. I’m going to run a bath now because I feel truly icky – I just hope the heat doesn’t send my BP plummeting too far again.
I have no idea what this was all about and I hope it doesn’t happen again any time soon. When is the menopause going to happen? When?! I just want my periods to be over with because all this malarkey for the past 36 years has been like some kind of torture!