We are obsessed in the western world with living longer and in order to do this we have to spend our whole lives not doing anything naughty……….in other words not having fun. No drinking, no eating junk food and spending our time at the gym rather than slobbing in front of the telly watching Celebrity Big Brother (Kirsty Ally’s been brilliant 😉 ).
There’s no greater pressure to live a totally joy-less existence than when you’re ill. I mean, how dare a sick person get drunk or eat a meal that doesn’t consist of kale and lentils – they obviously don’t want to get better!
Here’s my thoughts on old age – I don’t want to get to 90. I’m only 50 and am already fucking sick of living with constant pain and exhaustion and with the daily threat of anaphylaxis hanging over my head. I don’t want to live on rabbit food in order to gain another 3 pain-filled, crippled years when I’m old. I’d rather die a bit younger and have spent my days eating Wine Gums and stodgy carbs because I like wine gums and stodgy carbs and fucking hate kale which IMHO should only be eaten by rabbits.
Nothing is going to cure my MCAD, which is caused by having hEDS, which is a genetic disease and currently un-treatable. No amount of holy basil is going to stop me having faulty collagen.
Yesterday, my diet consisted of toast for breakfast, a home-made pizza for lunch with a home made fruit smoothie, afternoon snack of wine gums with a cup of tea (shock, gasp!) and a bowl of Weetabix for tea. There was barely a vegetable in sight because I was having a crap day and wanted to eat shite. News flash – it hasn’t killed me and I’m not in hospital with anaphylaxis. In fact, I’m very lucky that my mast cells/HIT tolerates nutritionally defunct food and I can eat as much crap as I like.
Obviously woman can’t live on carbs and sugar alone and no-one wants to develop diabetes, but this woman doesn’t want to live on cauliflower couscous or raw cacao either – yeugh! And if my mast cells would still tolerate alcohol I’d probably get drunk once a week to have some time off from having to deal with my shitty life.
I am currently about 10lbs over-weight but I am 50, menopausal and increasingly disabled by both hEDS and M.E. I actually think I’ve done well over the last quarter of a century of inactivity to have only gained 10lbs – go me!
My life is deprived enough and I’m now at the point where I refuse to deprive myself of pleasure any more. So what if I live from now til I die on a diet of Weetabix and Wine Gums – at least I’ll have enjoyed my food. I’m not sure why, all these years, I’ve eaten boring food I fucking hate. To live a longer life of pain and sickness? Sod that for a game of soldiers. I’d rather die young and have enjoyed the previous twenty years, than die when I’m old and have lived a life of boring deprivation. Pass the Starburst 🙂