The daily care package for my parents starts tomorrow. It’s been stressful and time consuming to set up, but fingers crossed it works because I am on my last legs and my Dad is also exhausted and tetchy. We’ve arranged for someone to come in Monday-Friday each lunchtime to make a meal and to wash my Mum. Then twice a week someone is coming to give her a shower. I also want the cleaner who comes once a week to change the beds, a job my Dad currently does, but so far I can’t get him to agree. Why the fuck not is anyone’s guess.
I went this afternoon to take a menu sheet and recipe book for the week, so that the Carer knows what she’s doing. Tomorrow’s lunch is going to be Corned Beef Hash and I’d ordered a tray of casserole veg from Tesco for the meal. I go in the fridge for some milk for a brew, and notice the tray is open and there is only 1 carrot left. I ask my Dad where everything else has gone and he says “it’s being used for the Hash tomorrow”.
“Yes, I know” I reply, “so where is it?”
“All peeled, chopped and in a pan ready” he beams at me “the lady only has to turn it on”.
It’s rare I lose patience with my parents, but I’m feeling like shit today and I can’t help myself. “So what exactly are you paying the Carer £25 an hour for then?” I explode. My Dad looks at me puzzled and I try to calm down. “It’s her job to make the dinner Dad, that’s why she’s coming and that’s what you’re paying her for!” It only dawns on me after I’ve gone off at him, that he’s so used to doing everything he can’t get his head around the fact someone else is going to be doing it. I feel terrible for getting tetchy with him, but it’s been a long week and I’m only human.
To be honest, I’m feeling utterly and completely overwhelmed. My own house is dirty and a tip. Paperwork is piling up unanswered. I have over 500 emails in my inbox, and as soon as I deal with 10 another 12 arrive. I’ve haven’t eaten properly all year as I have zero energy to make myself any food and I never seem to have a spare minute to just chill. It doesn’t help that my pelvis is so painful and as I’m sitting here typing this I have shooting pains down my left leg and my hip joint is throbbing like it’s got tooth ache. I could murder a pain killer.
Instead, I’m going to go for a bath despite the fact it’s 9pm and I’m totally shattered. I know it will help the pain and maybe help me sleep, but it seems like a big job. While the water is running, I’ll stack the dishwasher with the dirty pots that have been sitting on my kitchen counter since Friday.
Well, that was cheerful wasn’t it? Bet you’re glad you read this far 😁.
To end on a positive, I have now gone 6 months without a period (yayyyyy!) although I do still occasionally get period-type symptoms, for example I spent most of Thursday with period pain. But the best news of all is that I have not had a hot flush for 2 weeks. After being tortured day and night for months they have suddenly stopped and I don’t have to sleep with the window open or the ceiling fan on full pelt all night. It’s weird, but brilliant – fingers crossed they’ve buggered off for good!