I’m getting frustrated at the reaction of many of the people I know when I tell them I can’t have the vaccine. Note the word CAN’T. I am absolutely not saying I DON’T WANT the vaccine. I’d sell a kidney to be able to have the vaccine, despite the fact that recent research has shown it is only between 4% and 30% effective at reducing infection from Covid, so theoretically you could still catch Covid and although it won’t kill you it could have a devastating impact on pre-existing conditions like M.E. or MCAS (but that’s a conversation for another day!).
The response I’m getting is that there must be a way around the issue. “Have I spoken to my Consultant and what do they say?” (er, and what consultant would that be? I haven’t seen a consultant in nearly a decade). “What exactly would happen if I had the vaccine?” (I don’t know do I, because I don’t have a crystal fucking ball). They are not LISTENING to me when I say that the last vaccine I had gave me meningitis, nearly killed me and put me in bed for a decade. I am not risking that again, pandemic or no pandemic. I have anaphylaxis to Camomile tea and have spent 9 months in bed after catching a cold – my reaction to a jab which stimulates my immune system beyond all reason is anyone’s guess.
I know lots of people with my triad of conditions have had the vaccine without repercussion. But did these people have a catastrophic reaction to a previous vaccine? Because if they didn’t we are not in the same boat. The same storm, but NOT the same boat.
When did we lose the ability to listen to each other? To just accept what the other person is saying without questioning it or trying to fix it? If my situation could be fixed I would have fucking done it by now. I have not been sick and largely housebound for 27 years for the fun of it. I don’t have allergic reactions to virtually every drug I put in my mouth just to be awkward. I don’t know what’s so hard about accepting that my immune system does not function in the same way as most other people’s.
We seem to have a huge problem accepting that everyone has a different experience of the world. There is almost an inference that I am deliberately making my life harder than it needs to be. I’d love some of my friends and relatives to actually spend 24 hours in my shoes and then they’d know just how difficult my life is, how every single day is spent in fear of having a mast cell reaction and just how little I speak/moan about it!
I just want to be heard without being interrogated. Without someone trying to ‘fix’ me, because if my health problems were fixable I am not stupid and I would have FUCKING FIXED THEM MYSELF. It is beyond arrogant to assume that after a 2 minute conversation with someone that you know more about their life and their issues than they do!
We just need to listen more. Properly listen.