The poltergeist has struck again. I decided a few months ago to rest my right arm in a sling to try to cure my elbow pain as nothing else had worked. I had a cloth sling in my first aid box, and while I waited for a better sling to arrive from Amazon I used that. But so that my arm was totally still I wrapped a bandage around my torso to keep the sling in place. When my nice, new, much more comfortable sling arrived I dumped the old sling and bandage on the chair in my bedroom and promptly forgot about it under a pile of books. That was 3 weeks ago. Friday morning I woke to find the bandage on my bed. It wasn’t there the night before when I went to sleep………….
After having no working downstairs loo for 3 weeks as there was a leak from the isolation valve, I finally found a plumber who would come and fix it. While she was here (yes, my plumber was a girl yay!) I also got her to install the new kitchen sink and tap I’d had sitting in my lounge for 3 months. Trying to get tradesmen to do small jobs like this is nigh on impossible but she made a great job, even if she was expensive. The house needs all sorts doing to it, like the exterior painted and a re-wire, but as I’m planning to move I’m only doing jobs which will make the house look prettier in order to sell.
My Mum’s drinking has been totally out of control this week. I went there at 10.30am on Thursday and she was already drunk 😕. What’s more, she’s been nasty and argumentative with it and she told me to “shut the fuck up” even though I’d driven 14 miles to help my Dad despite having a migraine. Lockdown, when she physically couldn’t leave the house, was lovely. She was back to the Mum I’ve known and loved all my life but now she is sneaking out to the supermarket every week it’s all turned to shit. It didn’t help that my niece bought my Dad a humongous bottle of whiskey, my Mum’s favourite tipple, for his birthday in August which I think was the starting point to her current fall off the wagon. It just makes me so sad.
My eldest cousin said she’d had a phone call off our other cousin who lives down south, to ask if my Mum was OK (why she hadn’t rung me I don’t know). Turns out, my Uncle had rung my Mum recently and she’d been really weird on the phone and passed the receiver to my Dad mid-sentence. She will have been drunk of course but as her drinking is a secret which only me, my Dad, my bestie and my eldest cousin know about she couldn’t tell our other cousin why my Mum was acting strangely.
I try to feel compassion for my Mum but it’s hard. The relationship we have with our parents is so fundamental it’s not something you can brush off or ignore like you can with most other people. I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t affect me on a deep, deep level, despite my best efforts to just be accepting. And it’s particularly difficult when I do everything in my power to help and care for her, despite my own health issues and lack of care, yet receive abuse or dismissal.
We are firmly in the grips of a second coronavirus wave here in the UK, especially in the north where I live. Despite having more daily cases than we ever did at the start of the pandemic in March, people seem to be disregarding social distancing and not being in any way extra careful. My parents are allowing my brother and sister-in-law into their apartment, despite the fact they both go out to work and mix with other households, and my niece was there yesterday despite the fact she is a police officer and in close contact with idiot members of society. My parents seem to think that as they’ve survived the pandemic so far they are invincible, so I must have a word with my brother and niece instead and tell them not to visit. Why the hell can’t they use their own common sense though?! I’m fed up of playing the role of Parent – if I’d wanted children I would have fucking well had my own.
Today I must try and do some cooking as my freezer is bare. I hate cooking and find it sooooo painful, so I batch make meals and freeze them. When I win the lotto jackpot the first thing I will do is employ a cook!
Until next week, stay safe all x