I’m bone weary and it’s only 7.30am, but for once it’s a good weary. The award ceremony for the humongous photography prize I won took place via Zoom yesterday, however just because an event is wonderful doesn’t make it any the less energy-robbing. Intense emotions, be they good or bad, are simply and utterly knackering.
I am currently drowning in paperwork. Again. I get on top of it only for more letters to arrive through the door – I swear there’s a fucking letterbox Fairy with insomnia in this house, who has nothing better to do all night than multiply my paperwork. The bitch has to die.
Speaking of things which go bump in the night, my resident poltergeist is at it again. I keep a couple of bits of paper stuck to my fridge with magnets – they contain a list of things I need to remember when I go off taking photographs, and instructions for cooking meals I’ve made from frozen. Just about every day for the past 2 weeks, when I’ve come downstairs in the morning one of the bits of paper has been on the worktop. Weird, but maybe the magnet which holds it up is somehow faulty (can magnets loose their magnetism?!) even though it never, ever drops off during the day. To test the theory, I swapped the magnets over so that the one which keeps dropping off is now holding the other bit of paper up. But it didn’t help. When I came downstairs on Friday morning the bit of paper with the new magnet on was on the worktop 😮. And look at how the magnet is positioned. If it had fallen off, the paper would be face down with the magnet underneath it! But it is face up, with the magnet upside down on top!!
I used to think the poltergeist was just old energy living alongside me in the house, until the night the de-fluffer I keep in my dressing table drawer went off at 3am which I wrote about here. It obviously woke me and I had to hunt to find out where the noise was coming from and turn it off. I didn’t know it then, but I had bedbugs which I’d unknowingly brought home in my suitcase when I stayed in London for my exhibition and they are most active between 2am and 4am. I now am convinced this was the poltergeist’s way of waking me to find the bugs, because after this I woke at 3am for days eventually discovering said bugs which I was able (at huge cost) to eradicate.
I’ve no idea what the poltergiest is trying to tell me with this bit of paper in the kitchen. Possibly nothing and it’s just reminding me it’s here, or possibly something which I am not yet privvy to – I’ll keep you posted.
I celebrated my birthday this month. I used to buy birthday and Christmas presents for half of Cumbria and the effort, not to mention cost, used to cripple me. I was on my knees for months financially just to buy gifts for people I never saw and who earned twice, sometimes four times, as much as me so several years ago I called a halt and now only buy presents for my parents and best mate. Consequently, it means I don’t receive many gifts so instead on my birthday and for Christmas I now treat myself to something nice.
This year, I bought a wall plaque. I’m not one for ornaments really, so the things I do have in my home are meaningful to me. I try my very best to live my life with integrity, even though at times it’s monumentally difficult especially when so many other people are out for themselves, stomping all over others to get what they want – you only have to think of the panic buying during the pandemic as a case in point. You’re aware that by living with integrity you may not be at the top of the pack, but at least I can sleep at night with a clear heart and conscience. I don’t always manage to do what’s right, but faced every day with this message I hope I’ll think twice if I’m tempted to act in ways which are detrimental to my higher purpose.
Until next week my friends, stay safe! x