Silence is golden

The older I get, the more people irritate me.  I can no longer deal with fuckwits who think their opinion is the only one allowed, and cyberspace is full of them.  They are right and I am clearly an idiot who needs to be educated like a clueless child.  Just typing that gets my blood pressure up.

I’m having some stressful, worrying issues with the house I’m buying (more on that on my renovation blog) and am on the verge of checking myself into the nearest sanitorium.  One of the problems relates to sewage because new, and confusing, regulations came in on 1st January which affect everyone in the country buying or selling a rural, off-grid property.  Wanting to connect with others going through the same thing, I went on the building forums and found loads of posts about the issue, but virtually all the posters seemed clueless as to what was actually going on.  Trying to be helpful, I wrote about my experience and what I’d learned.

Instead of anyone saying “thanks for that, it’s really helpful” within 30 seconds someone had challenged the post, picking every word I’d used apart.  They don’t know, of course, that I have a brain injury, am dyslexic and struggle to write just about anything, but even so how fucking rude.   I was interrogated about my situation like I was on trial when all I’d tried to do was be helpful.  For all they knew I could be 20 years old and this could be my first, scary house purchase.

It happens a lot online.  You write something and immediately someone disagrees.  You aren’t allowed to have an experience which differs to theirs, or an opinion which differs to theirs without them jolly well letting you know about it.  What is their intention I wonder?  To publically make you look like a dick?  Or to make themselves appear superior?  To try to make you change your outlook to meet theirs?  To change your personality, culture or beliefs so you are more like them?  What’s it all about?  Why can’t we let people have a voice which differs to ours?

I’ve been accused here on my blog of not liking people who disagree with me, which isn’t the case at all.  You can disagree all you like……………..just do it in your own space.  This blog is my space, for my experiences and opinions.  If, every time I post something online someone immediately tells me my views aren’t shared by them, it feels like a continual battleground.  A place where I’m constantly defending my viewpoint or having to explain my experience.  It’s absolutely exhausting and I’m tired enough already.

The Brexit situation springs to mind.  Although I didn’t vote to leave, I increasingly found myself defending the Brexiteers because the Remainers were really, really bloody annoying.  They harped on relentlessly, shoving their viewpoint down other people’s throats at every single available opportunity.  They just couldn’t accept that other people didn’t want what they wanted.  They knew better y’see.  Their take on the Brexit situation was the right one.  The fucking arrogance of that!  In the end,  I stopped sharing my opinion online about Brexit because I couldn’t face being pounced on by the Remainers .  They stifled my voice.  They made me withdraw from the debate.  From society.  They basically bullied anyone who didn’t share their view into silence.  How dare they?!

There are lots of people’s views online that I don’t share.  But unless they are hurtful (racism, sexism, threats etc.), or unless I’ve been specifically asked what I think, I just keep my mouth shut.  We’re all entitled to our own opinions and I’m not sure what my intention would be in telling someone “I disagree with you”.  What am I hoping to achieve, exactly?  At worst it ends in an entrenched row and results in animosity, and at best you both agree to disagree, in which case what was the point?



8 thoughts on “Silence is golden

  1. Livvy

    King Solomon’s inspired observation: “Man has dominated man to his harm.” (Eccl. 8:9). ..Sorry you’re feeling overwhelmed Jak. You always manage to get through the the things you’ve been through in the past and come out the other side with amazing results! Wish I had half the amount of courage that you have! Don’t give up or loose hope. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. artfulblasphemer

    My oldest son is terminally ill unless he gets a heart transplant (this is the shortest version of the story). He is 29. We are being delayed getting evaluated for heart transplant (meaning he isn’t on a list yet) due to insurance fuckery. I finally posted a long Twitter thread tagging as many important people in the state that I know (I ran for office in 2018 so I do have some name recognition). So there it is, right? Me pouring out the entire nightmare we are going through, and on person comments one word, which is to correct an acronym that I reversed two letters in. That’s all, just a snippy little correction. Nothing about “Oh my gosh your case is so compelling” or “I hope you get your son to the finish line on this” or “thanks for sharing” just “correction.” I decided to assume this person suffers from something that limited their social skills and to feel compassion for their clumsiness and let it go. Again, if you’ve nothing constructive to say, try a cup of STFU.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jak Post author

      Firstly, big hugs. I can’t begin to imagine living with a child you’re scared will die and my heart goes out to you both.

      Secondly, that anyone would show such a lack of compassion to your Twitter post beggers belief. WT-actual-F?! Who corrects someone’s grammar or spelling when they’ve just poured their heart out about a terminally ill child?!

      Well done on being so forgiving, not sure I would be in your position xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. artfulblasphemer

        Thanks. Trust me, letting go is for me, not her—my bucket of stress and conflict is overflowing and I just can’t get into it with every gnat buzzing about my ear. Gnats have short lifespans anyway, so there’s that…..


  3. sarah002685

    What really gets me is when someone disagrees with others that they resort to name calling instead of a healthy discussion. It really makes my blood boil. I hate Twitter trolls, but I do like putting them in their place. With regards to spellings I’ve struggled with that myself but one nasty piece of work did call this nice guy this ….“your a moron”!
    I did write back saying don’t you mean, you’re a moron. It did stop his vile attack on this other guy, so sometimes there is a place for correcting others!

    Liked by 1 person


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