Monday was a big day. Not only did I have my scan, which thankfully showed that no cancer was present in my lymph nodes, I then had to come home to my local health centre for a smear test. Now, I know they say smears are “uncomfortable” for a few minutes however that’s not been my experience. I haven’t had children, nor had sex for a decade, and when she inserted the speculum it was a bit like trying to shove an elephant through the eye of a needle. The burning, stinging pain eventually became unbearable and, being as though she couldn’t get the ginormous thing in anyway, we both agreed it wasn’t working. Thankfully she had a smaller, old-style, metal speculum which she tried instead and this time it was successful. This is what always amazes me about health care – that a one size fits all approach is used. How can a 5ft 2″ size 10 women whose never had kids have the same size vagina as a 5ft 6″ size 16 woman whose had 3 children?! It’s the same with just about everything. They use the same size endoscopy tube on me as they use on a 6ft 2″ man and I know who feels like they’re choking the most!
Wednesday was the last competition of the season at my Camera Club. As the bullies now make me feel so uncomfortable I hadn’t been for a couple of weeks, but I didn’t see why they should deny me the pleasure of my favourite competition nights, so with some trepidation I went along. Most of the Club didn’t know I was leaving and that that would be my last night, so I told several people who were all totally shocked – not only that I was going, but why. I received lots of lovely comments, and hugs, and to cap it all I discovered that not only had I won the advanced print league this year I’d also won the advanced projected image league too. I know it’s a bit childish, but I kind’ve wanted to stick my middle finger in the air and tell the bullies to go swivel on it 😉 They have chased away the best photographer in the Club to a rival Club, which clearly shows they don’t have the best interests of their Club at heart and the fact they are all now on the committee, in fact one has put herself up for Vice Chair, stinks.
Toda is Mothering Sunday, so I’m taking my folks out for lunch. For the past several years I’ve absolutely dreaded events like today, as my Mum would be drunk before I even got to the house and either be finding everything hilarious so having a conversation over lunch would be impossible, or being a total bitch so I’d have a knot in my stomach the entire time as she whinged about everything and constantly bullied my Dad. These days she isn’t drinking quite so much, but she is still drinking and I have no clue how inebriated she will be when I pick her up. I’d rather be doing something else it has to be said.
I am covered in hives from the stress of recent events, am peeing constantly and not sleeping – all signs my histamine bucket is full to overflowing. My armpit, and elbow, are still swollen too and now I know it’s nothing sinister I’ve written to my GP and asked her for a referral on the NHS to a mast cell specialist. Just because I have a rare disease and live in a rural area doesn’t mean I should receive no health care! It’s been 6 years since I paid to see Dr Seneviratne for my diagnosis and I haven’t had any follow-up care at all, as in 2013 there were no NHS specialists seeing MCAS patients and I couldn’t afford any further appointments with Dr S privately. However, things have definitely moved on and now there are some NHS immunologists who have taken an interest in us weirdos and are willing to see us. Sadly, however, there are still none anywhere near me, so I’ve chosen Dr Ravi Sargur in Sheffield who seems to have a good reputation in the MCAS community. Sheffield also now do mast cell testing on the NHS and have a dietician who’s versed in low histamine food 😮 . Of course, it will take several months for my local health authority to agree to fund the appointment then for me to go on the waiting list to be seen, and it’s a 7 hour return train journey for me, but I don’t seem to have any other option – when your limbs start swelling up for no good reason it’s definitely time to get checked out.
Right, I must get up and cracking. The clocks went forward last night so I’ve lost a whole hour. I’ve recently been waking up every morning at 5.30am, so I thought it would be brilliant that it would actually now be 6.30am and at least the sun would be up but no such luck…………..I woke at 4.50am instead and couldn’t get back to sleep 😉