As you know from my previous post, Monday I took my Dad to see the neurologist about his leg weakness, hand spasticity and dizzy/vomiting spells. The Consultant thinks none of it is down to his spinal stenosis and is more likely to be down to his MGUS (a precursor to blood cancer) and has referred him to Haematology. My Dad doesn’t understand any of what’s going on, has no clue what large fibre neuropathy is and just thinks he’s going to have his decompression surgery and be totally back to normal in 3 months. He’s going to be devastated when that doesn’t happen 😦 The Hospital rang this week to say he’s booked in for his surgery on New Year’s Eve! I just hope the Surgeon hasn’t been on the cooking sherry over Christmas!
I have been feeling really rough all week. My sodding periods are making me feel awful – exhausted, very muzzy headed and both my back and endometriosis pain is off the charts 😦 However, my bestie drove through on Tuesday and we went out for lunch, which was lovely and helped take my mind off everything.
Weds was the last Camera Club meeting of this year. We had a quiz and a little buffet and I had a fun night, though I still miss my friend Linda who left. We now have a break for 3 weeks over Christmas and although I’ll miss the company I won’t miss coming home at 10.15pm in the dark, howling winds and sleet.
Speaking of Camera Clubs though, if you remember I was guest speaker at a Scottish Club in October and must have done OK as I’ve been asked to go back again next Season! I’m not sure I have enough new material for another 2 hour talk, so have said I’ll think about it and get back to them.
Friday I collected my car from the body shop after my little prang. The alloy wheel is still all scuffed though, so now I’m going to have to ring the insurers and asked why they didn’t request that be put right. It’s totally pissing me off because my car is 5 years old and I’d half agreed to trade it in for a newer one until this happened, so now I can’t do anything until it’s all done and the paperwork is sorted. If the car I have my eye on is sold in the meantime I’ll be well hacked off.
Today my Dad is going to Newcastle for yet another MRI scan, this time on his upper back and neck to see if there is any further stenosis or lesions on his bones. I’m making my brother take him though being as though it’s the weekend and he’s not at work – I was in agony for a week last time I did the 180 mile drive. While he’s away my Mum has asked me to take her to all our relatives graves to lay Christmas wreaths as neither she nor my Dad can bend now to do it.
I received a Christmas card and letter from one of my friends with M.E. this week. We got ill at roughly the same time, the only difference being my friend was a teenager. She is now 40 and has been virtually bedridden for over 2 decades. She is still unable to stand for more than a minute without passing out and is currently lying, yet again, in a dark room and without sound otherwise she has a seizure. My heart broke for her, yet I was selfishly thankful I was no longer in that position myself. I have no idea how she’s kept her sanity all these years or the will to keep fighting. Patients with severe M.E. are the strongest people I’ve ever met – unless you’ve been there you have no idea the tortures of hell this disease can inflict and the strength it takes just to get through the next minute let alone a whole day/week/month/year/decade. People ask me how I can remain so cheerful and bubbly despite my health and other issues and the reason is that I am so grateful to no longer have severe M.E. and to actually have a life, any life. I can still do stuff, despite my symptoms, when I couldn’t do anything when I was severely ill with M.E., and for that I am grateful every day of my life.