Weekly roundup

Whoooooooo.  This is the sound of me exhaling, something I haven’t done for a good 2 months.  Finally I’ve been able to have a couple of days at home and actually slob about in my jim jams, well until it’s time to take the furry child out for his afternoon jollies when it’s advisable to put some clothes on – I’d be a Smorgasboard for mozzies, ticks and midges if I sauntered through the woods half naked.

Physically my Mum is coping OK, but it’s her behaviour which is astounding me.  She is no longer drunk and we are having actual conversations in which she is lucid, rational and just plain normal.  And she’s now ringing me too, which she hasn’t done for 4 years as she was too busy getting legless.  I don’t have to think about what time of day it is, because I can speak to her at 7pm at night and she’s just the same as she was at 10am.  When she was drinking she was so smashed she made no sense by evening.  On a purely selfish level it’s wonderful.

But more than that she’s really calm.  My Mum’s always been a feisty person and while she’s been drinking she’s been a mare.  She constantly got frustrated and irritated, particularly with my Dad, and was a real bully at times.  But since coming out of hospital she is weirdly chilled.  She is not snappy and constantly losing her cool, which means visiting isn’t the stressful experience it used to be.

I arranged for her GP to come and check her over and had a quiet word with her about the situation.  My fear is that now Mum is out of hospital, she is not being fussed over by the nurses, she doesn’t have the other patients to chat to, she’s not drinking and is discovering the full extend of her physical limitations and isolation that she will nose dive into severe depression.  She drank because she was unhappy and lonely and that hasn’t gone anywhere.  So the GP is coming back this week to monitor her mental health.  I’m not buying this new, zen persona for a second, though I’m enjoying it while it’s on offer.

My hormones have been rampant this week and I had a very painful ovulation.  My egg release is getting more and more excruciating, I’m assuming because of all the endo-related adhesions on my ovaries,  and for a couple of days I literally couldn’t stand up straight.  I also had a niggly migraine for 4 days which kind’ve spoiled my R&R and my emotions were up and down like a bride’s nightie – one minute tearful, the next wanting to tear someone’s head off.  S’not nice.

Wednesday night was my Camera Club and months ago I’d been roped into doing a demonstration on Photoshop.  I woke that morning with a migraine which got worse as the day progressed, but thankfully it wasn’t bad enough to stop me driving so I soldiered on.  All was fine until mid-way through the workshop when my brain suddenly felt like it had become loose and had gone crashing into the side of my skull.  I seriously thought I was having a stroke.  For a few minutes all thought processes ceased and I literally couldn’t speak, which was proper scary.  Although it settled down, for the next half an hour trying to get my thoughts and words together was tricky and my blood sugar plummeted until my hands were shaking.  These weird vertigo-like episodes are becoming more frequent and I’m not sure if it’s to do with the peri-menopause or is linked to my migraine (I’m thinking more hormones because they often happen without a headache).  I do wish they’d jog on cos they’re starting to freak me out.

Being as though I had a few hours to myself this week I was able to take some photos, which I haven’t had time for in ages.  We have a competition coming up with the theme of ‘Water’, so I decided to try and photograph ‘rain’ which involved being outside in the dark in a flimsy dress and standing under a freezing cold hosepipe when it was only 10C outside.   I won’t be doing that again in a hurry 😉  Resulting image here.

I also thought I’d try some hi-key photos with the last of the summer flowers from my garden.  These were much more pleasant to do, if a bit of a faff.

On balance it’s not been a bad week all things considered, though my mast cells are certainly on high alert from all the stress and over-exertion of the past few weeks.  I am seriously not sleeping, have nightly anxiety nightmares which leave me drenched in sweat and am getting up in the night for a pee, a sure sign my histamine is rampant.  My back and joints are also painful, which is probably a combination of my hormones, mast cells and the autumnal weather, and my appetite has gone through the roof (definitely menopause related!).  On the plus side I’m starting to feel more like a human being than road kill and at least have clean socks and undies now I’ve had chance to do some laundry 🙂





12 thoughts on “Weekly roundup

  1. Sarah

    I am so glad to hear about your mum, really pleased for you
    The photos are gorgeous, you have a real talent
    Enjoy your day out x

    Sorry quick question, does it now being autumn make things a lot worse. My rash on my wrist from a plastic watch strap, has turned into what looks like a burn. I only wore it to prove to the Gynae that I can’t have the plastic mesh fitted as I come out in a rash with contact to plastics. My right knee is trying to dislocate too which is always a problem in spring and autumn.


    1. Jak Post author

      I developed M.E. in Autumn and I’ve gone downhill in Autumn for the past 23 years. I get more joint pain and stiffness from my EDS and am always more fatigued ME-wise. I have no idea why. A lot of americans put it down to mould (they’re a bit obsessed with mould) but of course we have mould year round here in the UK, and especially as I live in a 300 year old house, so it’s not that.

      As I’m allergic to some pollens you’d think I would feel worse in Spring not Autumn, but I always pick up around April and my energy improves.

      Jak x


  2. d

    So glad you’re getting a bit of time to yourself, and that you can enjoy some quality time with your mom.

    How long do you find it takes for your system to calm down once it’s been irritated? My chemical sensitivity has been slowly (very, very slowly) calming down but I seriously aggravated things in late August. I know you had chemical sensitivity too but it subsided. Do you never find things like painting or other triggers set it off again?

    Love the rain photo!


    1. Jak Post author

      It’s very rare I react to chemicals or smells now d. Occsionally something really strong will give me palpitations but they settle as soon as I’m out of range of the fumes.

      However, as my chemical reactions waned my drug reactions went bonkers, so my mast cells simply swapped one reaction for another. My drug reactions are wayyyyy worse than my chemical reactions were too 😦


      1. d

        I’m sorry to hear you got the short end of the stick on the trade off – chemicals for medications. The body seems almost unknowable to me at times, which is super annoying!


  3. Karen, The Walking Allergy

    An incomplete thought… but could it be that your mum reacts to alcohol? Mild reactions can make me irrational and very grumpy. VERY. Enough that we call it the ‘nobody loves me everybody hates me I think I’ll go eat worms’ feeling (a bit of a mouthful, but it makes us laugh, which deflates it quickly…).


    1. Jak Post author

      I’m as certain as I can be that she reacts badly to alchohol Karen. She def has MCAD and flushes with drink really badly, so necking high histamine beverages all day long is bound to have been doing her all sorts of harm x


  4. Lindsay

    I’m so happy to hear about your mum! I know what it’s like to not be able to have a conversation with a parent. I’d give anything to talk to the woman who my mom used to be.

    As always, your photos are gorgeous!

    Liked by 1 person


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