It’s been 5 weeks since the human rights organization Liberty said they might be interested in taking my disability discrimination case and I finally managed to get through to their advice line on Thursday. It wasn’t good news. They’re not going to represent me after all and I’m absolutely gutted.
It’s 2017. How can the Equality Act, which is supposed to protect my rights and treat everyone equally, allow me, as a disabled woman, to be treated differently to everyone else? How can everyone else be paid a health insurance until they’re 65 but allow mine to stop at 60 leaving me with five years to live in abject poverty? The unfairness of that makes my blood boil and the fact that no-one gives a shit makes me even more furious.
I’ve tried every single avenue in the past two years and gotten nowhere. And I’m exhausted. I seem to’ve spent my entire life fighting and I’m not sure I’ve got any fight left.
I fought to have my depression recognized as a teenager.
I fought for five years to have my back pain recognized as a physical, not a psychological, problem.
I fought for a year to stop my ex-husband taking my home off me.
I fought to have my M.E. recognized as a physical, not a mental, illness.
I fought to receive even basic medical care, and failed.
I fought to receive basic social care, and failed.
I fought to be ill health retired from my job.
I fought to receive welfare benefits for the first 8 years of my illness.
I fought to keep my Permanent Health Insurance for the first 6 years of my illness.
I fought the builder who agreed to sell me a house, took £4000 of my money then raised the price of the house by £50,000 which I couldn’t afford, and lost.
I fought to have my EDS diagnosed.
I fought to have my MCAD diagnosed.
I lost the fight to have either illness treated in any way.
I fought the company who installed my gas fire and gave me carbon monoxide poisoning.
I fought my Permanent Health Insurance company for two years when they tried to take my money off me.
I fought when the Government said I was fit for work and tried to take my sickness benefits off me.
I fought my Permanent Health Insurance company when they tried to take my money off me for a second time.
And I’ve fought every single day of the past 23 years just to survive.
I’m so tired. So tired of having to do everything alone and not receiving any help. Tired of no-one giving a crap. Tired of being treated like I don’t matter. Tired of being ripped off. Tired of the injustice, the money worries and the hardship. Tired of the fight.
I don’t know where to go from here. I suppose I should just give up but I’m left with this boiling rage that I can be shit on from a great height and I’m just supposed to lie down in the muck and die. I can’t accept it. It’s not right. It’s not FAIR goddammit! And I hate unfairness.
So if anyone has any bright ideas let me know. Or if anyone has a friend or relative working for a Legal 500 law firm who specializes in discrimination cases and who hasn’t already ignored me, let me know that too. Or pray, if you think it will do any good. I need some help, I need it now and I don’t care where it comes from!