This week has been dominated by my hormones so I’m guessing my period will arrive shortly. My cycles can be anything from 19 days to 31 days so I can no longer just look at my diary to know when it’s due and have to go off other clues. Tuesday morning I woke up fine, got up and fed Bertie, made a brew and took it back to bed to watch the news. I’m sitting there minding my own business when the world suddenly lurches to the right like I’ve been kicked in the head and I spend the next hour with the room spinning. I hate shit like that!
I panicked a bit, because that night I’d agreed to do a talk to my Camera Club’s beginner’s class which I knew I couldn’t do if I were dizzy, but luckily it wore off and I was able to go although I felt spaced out for most of the day.
Wednesday was the first warm, sunny day we’d had in weeks so my friend and I decided to visit a nature reserve where she looked at plants (she’s doing a botany course) and I sat and photographed dragonflies. We were the only people there the entire afternoon. The birds were singing, the insects were buzzing, we took a picnic………..and it was heavenly. I swear, days don’t get much better than that in my world and it did me the power of good even if I did get sunburnt.
My friend: do you want some suntan lotion for your arms?
Me: No thanks, my arms never go red. #lookinglikealorrydriver
Friday I woke with a migraine which is still lingering this morning. I had a really busy day planned and just carried on regardless, which was hard work when it felt like there was someone in my brain with a pick axe, and I was so sick Friday night I couldn’t eat a thing.
This morning I’ve woken with endo-related period pain, the dizziness is back and I feel generally fluey and crap. I am SO over this peri-menopause malarkey. It’s not like I’m having a horrendous time compared to the horror stories I’ve read about online, but it’s been 5 years of symptoms now and I’ve just had enough. I’m over the hormone induced migraines. The feeling extra exhausted. The joint pain. The forgetfulness and confusion. The nausea. The nipple pain which feels like I’ve been stung by bees. The swollen stomach which makes me look pregnant. The ravenous appetite which has made me gain 8lbs in six months. The never-ending peeing. The constantly swollen breasts that feel like bowling balls. And I’m absolutely over the endometriosis, which I know won’t go away after Menopause but which at least won’t ramp up every 3-4 weeks until I feel like my entire pelvis is on fire. I’m 50 shortly and after 5 years of declining hormones surely to God the end can’t be too far off. Can it?!