Weekly roundup

This week has been dominated by my hormones so I’m guessing my period will arrive shortly.  My cycles can be anything from 19 days to 31 days so I can no longer just look at my diary to know when it’s due and have to go off other clues.  Tuesday morning I woke up fine, got up and fed Bertie, made a brew and took it back to bed to watch the news.  I’m sitting there minding my own business when the world suddenly lurches to the right like I’ve been kicked in the head and I spend the next hour with the room spinning.  I hate shit like that!

I panicked a bit, because that night I’d agreed to do a talk to my Camera Club’s beginner’s class which I knew I couldn’t do if I were dizzy, but luckily it wore off and I was able to go although I felt spaced out for most of the day.

Wednesday was the first warm, sunny day we’d had in weeks so my friend and I decided to visit a nature reserve where she looked at plants (she’s doing a botany course) and I sat and photographed dragonflies.  We were the only people there the entire afternoon.  The birds were singing, the insects were buzzing, we took a picnic………..and it was heavenly.  I swear, days don’t get much better than that in my world and it did me the power of good even if I did get sunburnt.
My friend: do you want some suntan lotion for your arms?
Me: No thanks, my arms never go red.  #lookinglikealorrydriver

Friday I woke with a migraine which is still lingering this morning.  I had a really busy day planned and just carried on regardless, which was hard work when it felt like there was someone in my brain with a pick axe, and I was so sick Friday night I couldn’t eat a thing.

This morning I’ve woken with endo-related period pain, the dizziness is back and I feel generally fluey and crap.  I am SO over this peri-menopause malarkey.  It’s not like I’m having a horrendous time compared to the horror stories I’ve read about online, but it’s been 5 years of symptoms now and I’ve just had enough.  I’m over the hormone induced migraines.  The feeling extra exhausted.  The joint pain.  The forgetfulness and confusion.  The nausea.   The nipple pain which feels like I’ve been stung by bees.  The swollen stomach which makes me look pregnant.  The ravenous appetite which has made me gain 8lbs in six months.  The never-ending peeing.  The constantly swollen breasts that feel like bowling balls.  And I’m absolutely over the endometriosis, which I know won’t go away after Menopause but which at least won’t ramp up every 3-4 weeks until I feel like my entire pelvis is on fire.  I’m 50 shortly and after 5 years of declining hormones surely to God the end can’t be too far off.  Can it?!

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4 thoughts on “Weekly roundup

  1. d

    Your day trip sounded heavenly! I hope things settle and you can start to see the end of menopause at some point! It certainly does seem to take its time.

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  2. Laetitia Lalila

    Yay! So excited that you got out! I find nature also very healing and nurturing, and I’m always looking forward to your snaps. You seem to live in a very beautiful area over there.
    Otherwise, I’m sorry things are so hard right now with the perimenopause taking forever. 😦
    You already have so many issues health-wise, it’s perfectly understandable that you’re feeling this way. I’m sending you a big big hug and hope it will settle down soon!
    xoxo

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  3. Camella Spriggs

    Hi, I’m new to this site, but this post describes my existence to a T, minus the wonderful outing you had with a friend. I sincerely hope you get more opportunities like that and remember your sunscreen.
    I am 51, also perimenopausal and have migraines every day of my life. I’ve gained 20 pounds in the past 6 months and also look pregnant, while nothing in my daily routine has changed except for my age, wonderful hormones that go along with “this age” and I have had to switch antidepressants because I was dangerously desperate, crying and hurting everywhere ALL THE TIME, with no apparent reasonable explanation–except my cycle going off track and having more stress-incontinence. I always feel flu-like, wipe out at 3:00pm every day, feverish, then cold, have Raynauds, taking a shower is an event all by itself, can’t go inside stores because of the harsh lighting, sickening smells and cacophony on my ears which all lead to bedridden Migraine. After a necessary D&C recently, my specialist found 50-60 polyps in my uterus and cervix said everything had to come out, but he’d try to save one ovary to prevent throwing me into complete menopause right then unless it was enveloped with Endometriosis also and my bladder had severely prolapsed and would require a mesh sling. At that point, it actually all started making more sense to me and I was relieved that I wasn’t losing my mind. All of my PMS and PMDD symptoms were magnified by 100 for almost 2 years and I was headed down a very dark desperate isolated path. I couldn’t see any way out. It nearly destroyed my marriage of 31 years, estranged my siblings and their families from ours and made me a bitter self-made resentful unhappy prisoner of my own house which I grew to hate. The despicable noise inside my head was too much to bear–I just needed it all to stop. My body and my mind both failed and betrayed me.
    I’m hoping, praying, knocking on wood, crossing my fingers, sage smudging everything, and anything else I can think of that this Hysterectomy & bladder sling surgery will be THE GREAT RELIEF that everyone has been telling me that it is! I will have something under control and will then be able to better focus on my ME/CFS/POTS/Dysautonomia💜And my loved ones who have it also.
    Be well, Be Kind, Love and BREATHE 💜

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    1. Jak Post author

      Hi Camella

      Thanks for stopping by my blog and for taking the time to comment 🙂 I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been going through such a nightmare though and can really empathise. I’d love to have had a hysterectomy but it was deemed to dangerous due to my multiple drug allergies. I sincerely hope yours helps – let me know how it goes!

      Jak x

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