I’ve sadly been to many funerals over my lifetime, and as the deceased’s nearest and dearest stand giving the eulogy I’ve often wondered if they ever told the dead person what they’re telling the rest of us. How precious they were to them, how they changed their lives, all the times they helped them, or made them laugh. How much they were loved. I’d personally prefer to say all these nice things to the people in my life while they’re still here, so I copied the blog post I wrote about my Camera Club friend John and emailed it to him. I had emailer’s remorse the second I did it, and had no idea what his reaction would be, if I’d embarrass him or myself, or whether it would make our next meeting awkward but then I figured so what if it did? I wanted him to know how much his kindness had meant to me over the past 3 years and that I valued the qualities he possesses as a human being, which I find are rare these days. I needn’t have worried. His response was lovely and I think he was shocked but secretely pleased. Even at the age of 70 it’s nice to know that we are appreciated.
The first half of my week was uneventful, the second half not so much. My Monthly Friend made an appearance on Thursday and left me a complete gibbering wreck. I had a migraine which lasted three days and from which my head has still not recovered, and was so emotional on Friday I literally couldn’t stop crying. I can’t remember the last time I sobbed like that and to be so out of control of my emotions was most disconcerting. I’d been awake half the night with period pains and what felt like rats gnawing at the inside of my skull, then logged on to my laptop to find that John had bought me the Elements 13 software and his kindness was all too much. I started to bawl and once the floodgates had opened I couldn’t close them again. The more I cried the more my head pounded and the more nauseous I felt, but it made no odds. Bloody hormones, I’m a martyr to them at the mo!
Despite my emotional fragility and stonking headache I’d arranged for my friend’s two kids to come over for a photoshoot in the afternoon so I eventually had to pull myself together. I had the eldest dress up as a mermaid and tried my hand at faking an underwater picture, which still needs a bit of work but has turned out OK. I get really excited about creating composite pictures and totally immersed in them. It’s such a fantastic distraction and I feel truly alive when I’m being creative.
I get criticized about all sorts by readers of my blog, and one of my biggest crimes is that I don’t understand issues properly. Whilst it’s true I don’t have a degree in genetics or nutrition 90% of my readers don’t either, so I try to tackle subjects simply and in a way we can all grasp. For example, you will never see me write about “heritable disorders of connective tissue” (say whaaaat?!) because to most people it means fuck all. In any area of life the more knowledgeable and skilled people become the less they speak in a language that the lay person can understand, which is fine if you’re conversing with other Doctors or Researchers but rubbish if you’re speaking to Patients. When Charities are producing literature or giving lectures to Joe Public I wish they’d stop with the medical jargon and just speak in good old plain English. It applies to any walk of life. My Camera Club holds a beginner’s photography course but the guy who runs it has been taking photos for 30 years, so twitters on about ‘focal lengths’ and ‘lens distortion’ when the people he’s speaking to just want to know how to point and shoot and not have a blurry photo at the end of it! I sit in the audience and watch their eyes glaze over and their interest wander and it actually becomes all about the ego of the lecturer and how clever he is to know everything about everything rather than how to help others become better at taking pictures.
More research out this week shows ‘breakthroughs’ in the puzzle which is M.E./CFS. The trouble is the ‘breakthroughs’ are on different subjects, one being energy (*sigh*) and the other the immune system (more promising IMHO). Patients online get all excited and then we hear nothing ever again. I don’t even bother reading it any more because I’ve had 20 years of ‘breakthroughs’ when it comes to M.E. and we’re still none the flippin’ wiser.
More terror-induced carnage in the UK overnight. What an absolute waste of life 😦 I have no idea what ISIS hopes to achieve. If Hitler, who killed millions of Brits in the war, couldn’t break us a few lone terrorists aren’t going to. I sometimes wonder if these men (and it’s always men, particularly as women have no value in this ideology) just like violence. They like the feeling of power and control it gives them and while in the beginning it’s to do with religion or land, in the end that just becomes an excuse to murder people for the sheer thrill of it.