In order for me to get through everything I need to do with my very limited energy I have to have a schedule. I break the week up into days and each day up into hours and each hour has an activity. It stops me feeling overwhelmed and (in theory) stops me from doing too much of a particular activity at any one time which helps with energy management. Doing fun things, and not doing anything at all, are built into my schedule. If they weren’t I’d do nothing but chores 7 days a week and I’ not prepared to have a life devoid of leisure time. The system works until I have a migraine or my period or my patio floods and I have to get an emergency plumber and can’t get my jobs for that day done. Then it all turns to shit 😉
I’ve been ragingly hormonal for days, despite it being a week since my period ended. When I’m hormonal I crave dairy products for some bizarre reason. Warm milky drinks, ice cream, rice pudding (mmmmm I could eat a rice pudding right now and it’s 7am!) which I don’t eat at any other time. I just go with the flow as my body is obviously trying to tell me something. Friday I spent the day ravenously hungry which is usually a sign I’m getting a migraine, and sure enough I woke in the middle of the night with my brain throbbing. Luckily it wasn’t a bad one though and had largely gone by lunchtime. Last night I went to bed fine, woke at 3am and felt horrendously depressed and started to cry, managed to talk myself round and go back to sleep and have woken this morning absolutely fine again. This peri-menopause malarky is seriously bonkers.
My EDS has taken a proper nosedive in the past few months. I don’t know whether it’s weather-related, hormone-related or not related to anything in particular. It’s such a shame because ME-wise I feel relatively stable and MCAD-wise I feel quite good (!). I’m in pain just about everywhere, all my ligaments and muscles are stiff, I can’t get comfortable no matter what I do and I walk about like a bloody 90 year old. I’m also permanently knackered (the lack of energy from my EDS is totally different from the ill-exhaustion I feel when my ME is bad) so I’m finding living life on a practical level hard work. These are the times I wish I were rich and had servants.
I had some great news this week about my furry friend Bertie. He’s had a large lump on his tail for some months now and the Vet hasn’t been sure what it is. She didn’t want to do a biopsy as there is very little skin on a dog’s tail and wounds are notoriously difficult to heal, so it’s been monitored for changes. Over Christmas I noticed a scab had formed so went back to the Vets this week for a check. She was able to remove the scab and squeeze ten tonnes of cheesy crap out of the lump, which proves it was a cyst and nothing more sinister. I’m so relieved and I’m sure Bert is much more comfortable with all that nasty gunk gone.
I’m ready for spring now, even though it’s at least 2 months away. It takes forever to get all my kit on to take Bertie out and, although it’s been a good winter in most respects, I’m just ready for it to be warmer. Mind you, when it gets warmer it tends to get wetter then I moan about the rain! Let’s face it, I just wish I lived somewhere sunnier even if it is stunningly beautiful here.
I’ve been bargain hunting on Ebay this week. I have some ideas for some gothic-inspired photographs so have been ratching for medieval costumes. Ebay and Amazon are fucking brilliant – you can buy anything on there and often for under a tenner (which is a good job cos I’m absolutely broke). Watch this space!