Another week has flown by and we’re nearly in August already. I never seem to have enough time to do all the stuff I want to in the summer months and curse each bad day I have stuck in bed staring at the sunshine outside.
Very important notice to start this post. One of my readers, Andy, has pointed out that the Oregano listed on my Luteolin & Quercetin page must be Mexican oregano, not European oregano. Thanks to him for letting me know – my severe brain fog and inability to take in information are the reasons I include hardly any technical or medical stuff on my blog and focus on my person journey instead 😉
Sooo, what’s been happening this week? Not much if I’m honest. Wednesday was spent in a haze of pain, nausea and fatigue with a god-awful migraine. Trust it to also be the day I had the electric board here fitting me a new meter, which of course went wrong and they faffed all morning instead of the 30 minutes it was supposed to take. Then my Cleaner was here all afternoon. By 6pm I felt like my noggin was going to explode. It was down to hormones, but although I’ve had niggly period pains now for 5 days my monthly friend (I use the term loosely) has not put in an appearance.
My Mum can’t use a regular kettle due to a severe hand tremor, so I bought her a Superkettle. I have one myself and they’re brilliant, but after only 18 months my Mum’s stopped working. I contacted the company 3 times to have it repaired but they didn’t reply, so I ended up having to buy her a new one somewhere else. Only when it came this week the whole of the side was dented in, so I had to contact the company, repack it, arrange for it to be collected and a new one shipped out. Why does everything I do go wrong? I’m not being overly-dramatic, it really does genuinely all turn to shit. There are days I feel like I’m bloody cursed.
When I was out with Bertie on Thursday I saw a dying butterfly. Obviously a dying butterfly isn’t going to fly off and I couldn’t resist the photographic opportunity this presented, so I bought it home in a little jar (with the lid off so it could breathe) and photographed it close-up in my house. I did um and ah over how ethical this was, but didn’t hurt the insect in any way and afterwards placed it on the Lavender bush in my garden for its final few hours:
Yesterday I met my bestie for lunch then we had a potter round an annual Ceramics Festival. I can never afford to purchase anything but it’s still nice to dream about all the irrelevant crap I could buy if I had the cash 😉 Not that I would. I’m not really into ‘stuff’ – I can never much see the point to ornaments which only have to be dusted.
We have an annual music festival on here this weekend and have been over-taken by 30,000 music lovers. I don’t need a ticket, I can hear every syllable and thud of bass from my bedroom despite living 4 miles away. Oh well, at least I can join in without having to kip in a freezing cold tent or use porta-loos you need a biohazard suit to enter 😉 Got to be honest though, I absolutely can’t wait for it all to be over and for everyone to bugger off home!
This week I discovered one of my lovely friends has been having a really tough time and keeping it all to herself. Like me, she’s one of these women who just cracks on with life and on the surface looks like she’s coping and everything’s fine, but no-one’s life is that easy especially if you’re living with chronic illness. That’s the main reason I started this blog – so that I’d have somewhere to vent. In ‘real’ life I go round with a happy smile on my face and am the family’s “sorter”. I’m the one everyone comes to when there’s a problem and I’m expected to know all the answers and to fix it – and to be fair I usually do. But it’s exhausting. And stressful. And just sometimes I wish one of them would be there for me because it’s impossible to shoulder all of life’s burdens alone all of the time. I definitely feel writing a blog has helped – it’s the one place I can unburden without it affecting the people I love. Having said all that, one blog post I wrote cost me a 22 year friendship but looking back maybe that was no bad thing – the friendship was over anyway. Writing stuff down definitely helps me gain perspective and helps me off-load, and we all need that.
I read a very sage piece of advice in Toni Bernhard’s book ‘How to be sick…’ and it was this: “treat yourself as you would a beloved child”. If your child were going through this you wouldn’t blame them, or berate them, or tell them not to be so stupid, or to be strong…….you’d shower them with love, compassion, care and understanding. Treat yourself the same way.
Big hugs to all my friends and readers who are having a particularly tough time at the moment.