Which is exactly what my jaw has become apparently!  I went to bed one night absolutely fine about 10 days ago and woke up unable to chew anything on my right hand side.  The jaw joint doesn’t click or pop, it’s just really really painful and the pain goes up the side of my head and into my ear.  Super.

Made an appointment to see my Dentist yesterday thinking that I’d have to wear some kind of brace or retainer while I’m sleeping to keep the jaw joint in place.  But he doesn’t think this will help.  Most people with jaw problems develop them because they grind their teeth in the night and cause wear and tear arthritis on the jaw joint – gum shields help keep the mouth slightly open to stop the teeth from grinding.  But in my case the ligaments holding my jaw in place are lax which is making my jaw joint move, hence the pain.  A gum shield, he didn’t think, would make one iota of difference although he said we could try it as an experiment (which would cost me £50).  I think I’ll leave that for now as I’m stony broke.

The only thing he could suggest is resting the jaw as much as possible and only eating soft foods on the left side of my mouth, which is what I’ve been doing in any event.  If I could take drugs he’d suggest some anti-inflammatories and maybe a muscle relaxant for the spasm, but as I can’t I have to try rubbing some Ibuleve gel into the joint every 4 hours to try and calm any inflammation.  He hopes I’ve just sprained the ligament and it will settle down in a week or two.  Me too, because with chewing everything on the left side of my mouth my left jaw joint is now starting to hurt!

I currently feel like I am falling apart in spectacular fashion.  My hormones (and emotions) are all over the place – had a blood test to check for perimenopause last week but don’t expect it to show anything as it’s early days.  My back hurts me every second of the day and I can no longer find even one comfortable position in bed consequently I don’t sleep (don’t let’s talk about sitting and standing which have been an issue for years).  My fingers are falling apart.  My pelvis is shot.  My gums are receding.  My stomach is painful 24/7 and I have constant nausea. My uterus and bladder area is inflamed all the time, causing awful period-like pain and a need to pee a dozen times a day (and during the night).  The floaters in my eyes are so severe they interfere with reading and driving and drive me absolutely bonkers.  And to cap it all what little energy I ever possessed has bogged off too (I hope it’s in the Caribbean  and eventually comes back all tanned and refreshed from its holiday 😉 ).

My mast cells also seem to be having some kind of dicky fit.  I keep having what look like blistery bug bites all over my body, which itch like crazy.  Maybe they are bug bites, but I get them when I’m covered from head to toe so how do bugs get through jeans and wellies, or jumpers and anoraks and bite me under my bra?!  Then a couple of weeks ago a whole new and peculiar nose issue began.  My nose is inflamed and prickly, but with no itching, no feeling of being blocked and no running.  Occasionally I’ll have a massive sneezing fit for no good reason, but once it’s over my nose isn’t runny or blocked or itchy………..just inflamed and prickly.  I bought an air purifier for my bedroom, thinking I had developed an allergy to my dog, but it has made not one iota of difference.  My brain fog is also dire and my eyes constantly dry and sore. There’s something afoot, I just don’t know what.

I currently wake up in the mornings wondering what life is all about.  Am I depressed?  Probably.  Do I swing between crying and wanting to end it all, to telling myself to get a grip andPhoto of my dog stop being such a bloody whimp?  Absolutely.  My life currently feels like a pile of shite with no redeeming features and, if I’m being honest, that’s probably a fairly accurate description.  The only thing that keeps me going is my little dog, the fact that my parents are elderly and can’t manage without me, and the thought that some day the man of my dreams will come looking for me on his white charger brandishing a winning Euromillions lottery ticket.  You can add ‘delusional’ to my list of ailments 😉 .

6 thoughts on “Unhinged

  1. Sonia Johnson

    This might sound wrong in everyway but your latest blog makes me smile and hold on with the knowledge that there is somebody else out there going through all the same pain and despair as myself. My only pleasure these days are marking off the days on the calendar until the 8th NOVEMBER when I get to meet Prof Howarth at Southampton Hospital for my first consultation. Lets hope I finally get the answers to all my years of suffering and people thinking I am making it all up.

    Best wishes


    1. bertieandme Post author

      Hi Sonia

      Ooo, I’m pleased you’ve got a date now for your appt – do let me know how it goes! I’m still waiting to see if the consultant my GP has referred me to will see me as it’s out of area so funding is an issue, it feels like it’s taking forever!

      Yes, it’s always nice to know you’re not alone – even if the group you belong to no-one else wants to join 😉 .

      Jak x


  2. Jodi owen

    I know your thoughts on wheat but until I cut grains from my diet, I was in constant pain: frozen and inflamed joints with severely reduced range of motion, musculoskeletal pain, migraine, brain fog, memory and concentration problems, chronic constipation, chronic cravings, sensitivity to light and noise, vertigo, excess fatigue and weakness, tinnitus, etc., etc., etc., ad nauseum. I know some of these symptoms cross over with other food sensitivities but grains (wheat, rye, barley, oats, sorghum, millet, maize, quinoa, corn, soybean, rice, peanut, and most beans) are a HUGE problem for me. Also, my partner’s jaw would dislocate, click and hurt regularly until she cut grains (that was only one problem amongst many debilitating symptoms) Now her jaw doesn’t hurt at all. Would the possibility of reducing some of your symptoms be worth giving up grains for a week to test for yourself?


    1. bertieandme Post author

      Hi Jodi

      Really appreciate the reply. As I’ve been ill for 19 years now I’ve tried just about every diet known to man and sadly cutting out grains (and dairy) didn’t do a thing for me on the 3 occasions I tried it, although I know oats and I don’t get along that well so they’re not something I eat.

      I can see how food could influence inflammation, but not sure how food could possibly influence genetically faulty collagen and reduce laxity and therefore movement (though I admit I’m no expert!).

      I think the current exacerbation in my symptoms is possibly hormone related due to perimenopause. My collagen is always much more lax the week before my period, and now my hormones are all over the place all hell seems to be breaking loose.

      Jak x



Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.